Updates from the Couch: Day 19

I’m not sure where to begin – with the million old man march at Safeway this morning, or the shitty footprints I saw when I returned home. You know what? Never mind about the old people at Safeway, I’m sure you all have your own experience with that. But on the flip-side, if you’ve never experienced a Toilet Demon, listen up.

So, when I say, “shitty footprints,” I’m sure you are all thinking, like across the floor, right?

Arnghhhh! Wrong! These feet-prints not only tracked across the floor, but also went up the walls, across the 30 foot high ceiling… I’m telling you, it’s insane. Now, I’m not only sure I’ve pissed off the Toilet Demon, I’m also positive he let the Closet Troll back in as soon as I left. I wouldn’t think so, but for the bagels, covered in Garden Cream Cheese decorating my kitchen walls right now. Hold up…baby needs a change.

Okay, I’m back. As I was saying. This shit is getting out of hand. I only wanted to evict one little loafer, now I have two…and they’re not very nice. Seems I have to get my wife in on this. She’s not like me at all – she would’ve blasted the dicks right away. I tried to be a gentleman about this situation, but it seems, drastic times call for drastic… well, you know. I’ll get with her and work out a game plan. I actually feel bad for the supernatural creatures if she gets involved. But they can only blame themselves.

In other news, I’m about to publish my second collection of Amazon. Show some love of you liked my stories. If not – feel free to leave a comment and tell me why. I’m working on a horror Novella right now that I think you’ll like. But any feedback will certainly be used while I’m editing it. Whoops! I hear them again. I got to go. But I’ll leave an update tomorrow.

Bye friends…for now.

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