Yes, you read that right – day 23. Wait, you may be thinking; what happened to day 22? Well, about that…I needed a day. You know, to decompress. Do a little reading / editing. I’m sure you understand. So, let’s just pretend that yesterday doesn’t exist, shall we?
I made peace with the Troll and toilet demon. Well, they made the peace. I was about to Stallone them, but it turns out, they’re kind of a couple. They eloped to Reno. So, they’re gone now. There are a few boxes of Troll-turds in my closet, but at least the little freak is gone. I’ll get to the Troll feces when I feel a little better. But for now, I’m just trying to ignore the smell coming from the hall closet and relax a little – enjoy time with my little one – who incidentally needs a ba-ba right about now. I’ll be right back.
Fucking shit! Fuck, fuck, fuck! Dicks! Shit…must give the baby her bottle. Be right back.
Okay, baby in her playpen. So, I went in the kitchen to make the baby a bottle earlier, right? Remember that? So…guess what I found when I went in there. Those little assholes glued a crucifix to the front of the fridge…with a chicken attached to it! What the actual cluck? That’s it, I’m searching the house. I’m taking the gun, too. They’re going get it.
And…I’m back. I searched everywhere – no Troll, no Demon. I really don’t… Wait. I do know! The douche-nozzle made a fucking copy of the housekey! Oh…that Butt-monkey is going to get it now! I’m going to hide out, wait patiently, and when he sneaks in…well, I don’t really know, but I know he won’t like it! But, I’m pretty sure he won’t be back today, so I’ll update on the Troll-Demon situation as it unfolds.
Hey…you know what? I bet this little shit also made a copy of the mail key. I’ll be back in a sec.
Troll-turd in the mailbox, sitting on my Stimulus Check! I know the little bastard just did it too. The thing’s still steaming! I just can’t with this day anymore. I’m going to get him good, though. Just you wait and see.
I’ll be back on tomorrow. I’m just done with this day.